Sextortion is one of the most damaging online crimes because it attacks both your privacy and your sense of dignity. Over the past year, I’ve personally assisted individuals who were targeted in sextortion schemes. Sitting with them through the panic, shame, and uncertainty showed me how devastating this can be — but also how resilient people are when given the right tools and support.

This post is for anyone who wants to understand sextortion: what it looks like, how to prevent it, and how to respond if it ever happens to you or someone you care about.

Sextortion: How to Stay Safe and What to Do If It Happens

Sextortion is one of the most damaging online crimes because it attacks both your privacy and your sense of dignity. Over the past year, I’ve personally assisted individuals who were targeted in sextortion schemes. Sitting with them through the panic, shame, and uncertainty showed me how devastating this can be — but also how resilient people are when given the right tools and support.

This post is for anyone who wants to understand sextortion: what it looks like, how to prevent it, and how to respond if it ever happens to you or someone you care about.

What Sextortion Looks Like

At its core, sextortion is blackmail. The attacker gains access to intimate material — or convinces you to send it — and then threatens to share it unless demands are met.

When I was working with one victim, the scammer claimed to have screenshots of private video chats and demanded money in exchange for silence. The threats felt immediate and overwhelming. In another case, the attacker simply fabricated images and relied on fear to pressure the victim. In both situations, the blackmailer’s real weapon wasn’t technology — it was fear.

Proactive Protection: Steps to Reduce Your Risk

While no prevention method is foolproof, there are practical things you can do right now to lower your exposure:

  • Think before you share. Once intimate material leaves your device, you lose control of it.
  • Strengthen your accounts. Use strong passwords and turn on two-factor authentication.
  • Stay alert to red flags. If a stranger online suddenly showers you with attention, pushes for private chats, or asks for explicit images, that’s a danger sign.
  • Talk to teens. Both of the cases I assisted involved adults, but many victims are minors. Predators thrive when kids feel too ashamed to talk to parents or mentors.

Reactive Steps: What To Do If You’re Targeted

If you find yourself in this situation, here’s what I’ve seen work in real life:

  1. Don’t pay. One victim I worked with almost wired money. After they cut off contact, the attacker moved on — because they had no leverage once the fear was broken.
  2. Stop engaging. The more you talk, the more they manipulate. Block and walk away.
  3. Preserve evidence. Save messages, screenshots, usernames, and payment demands. This is critical if you involve law enforcement.
  4. Report it.
    • File with the FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (ic3.gov).
    • Contact local police.
    • If a minor is involved, report to CyberTipline.
  5. Tell someone you trust. In one case, the breakthrough came when the victim finally told a close friend. The relief of not being isolated made all the difference.
  6. Care for your mental health. Attackers count on shame. Don’t give them that power — talk to someone, whether it’s a counselor, a mentor, or a crisis hotline.

What I’ve Learned Helping Victims

When people are targeted, their first reaction is usually panic: “My life is over if this gets out.” That’s exactly what attackers want you to believe. But the reality is that sextortionists are after quick money, not a long battle. When you refuse to engage, cut them off, and involve the right authorities, they often vanish.

The most important lesson: you are not alone, and you are not powerless.

Resources

  • FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3): ic3.gov
  • National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: report.cybertip.org
  • Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Dial 988
  • Crisis Text Line: Text HELLO to 741741

Closing

Sextortion thrives on silence. The attackers count on you being too afraid or ashamed to fight back. The way we win is by breaking that silence — by talking about it, by supporting each other, and by reporting these crimes.

If you’ve been targeted, remember: your worth is not defined by an attacker’s threats. You are stronger than the fear they are trying to create.

Take Action

  • Share this post to spread awareness.
  • Talk about sextortion with friends, family, and colleagues.
  • Reach out if you or someone you know needs guidance. No one has to face this alone.